I guess I’ve always struggled with anxiety from a very young age. One memory that’s stuck with me was around when I was 4 years old. I remember waking up from a nap to find nobody home, naturally as a kid when no one is around you start to panic. It seemed like no amount of crying and tears would bring those magical bigger humans back. No one was around to comfort me, bring me to the potty, and feed me. What was going on?!
In my panic and hyperventilation my 4 year old brain decided it was a good idea to start playing with my mom’s sewing machine. So through my tears and constant crying I started putting my foot down on my mom’s machine, effectively ruining whatever it was she was making. After some time my mother finally came back. At first she laughed, saying how silly I was to worry as she had only stepped out for a little bit, but then that laughter turned to anger the second she saw what I had done.
“How dare you ruin this?”
The first time the walls of the glass castle shook.